


Name Games

by fuzzballsheltiepants



Series: A Mewment Like This [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M, do cats care about gender identity, i'm a vet okay, meet sort of cute, vet assistant!Kevin, veterinarian!Dan, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 10:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14447367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzballsheltiepants/pseuds/fuzzballsheltiepants
Summary: The credit for this fic belongs to @andrews-nothing on Tumblr for their post:  Andriel AU where Andrew owns Sir Fat Cat McCatterson and Neil owns King Fluffkins and they meet because they’re both at the vet at the same time. The assistant, an aggravated and annoyed Kevin, announces to the lobby, “will the owner of the cat with the stupid name come back here? Your cat is trying to kill the vet.” And Neil and Andrew both stand up.





	Name Games

The waiting room was a cacophony of nonverbal vocalization, barks and plaintive meows and the insistent screaming of some sort of parrot.  Neil sat in the corner where he could see the whole room, working to keep his hands still in his lap.  People in scrubs bustled in and out, sometimes taking a pet, sometimes delivering one, or guiding a human-and-animal through the door that led to the exam rooms.  He had long given up on concentrating on his phone with all the noise and movement.  
  
Only one other person was as still as he was, a short blond man with a blank face and sharp eyes that watched everything.  There was something about his body language that had shoved him immediately into the threat category, though Neil had not heard him say a word.  He didn’t even know why he was there; he had been there when Neil had appeared a half hour ago and handed King off in her carrier to one of the technicians along with answers to a long list of questions.  As far as he could tell, the man hadn’t moved once aside from an occasional blink and the slow rise and fall of his chest.  
  
There was a brief burst of excitement in the form of the parrot in its cage being carried toward the treatment area screaming “Help!  Help!  I’m innocent!” while its mortified family followed.  The blond man’s face didn’t change as he stared after them.  
  
A bouncing golden retriever on a flexi-lead zoomed over to the blond man and dropped his bedraggled stuffed toy into his lap then waited, wagging excitedly.  The dog’s family began apologizing profusely and reeled the struggling dog in, scolding him.  As soon as they turned their backs the dog bounded back to his toy.  Neil watched through his eyelashes as the man glanced around, then handed the toy back with a quick ear rub before going back to his impassive facade.  The dog sighed and rested his drooly chin on the man’s knee, and Neil bit back his grin.  
  
The door swung open and a dozen pairs of eyes looked towards it in unison as an irritated tall man in scrubs entered.  “Will the owner of, um,” he looked down at his empty hands as if he expected the information to be there, then back up at the expectant room, “the cat with the stupid name please come with me?  Your cat just mauled the doctor.”  
  
Neil sighed and got to his feet.  King was usually a sweetheart, but she hated having her feet touched.  He probably should have warned them but he hadn’t thought about it.  It was with some surprise he realized the blond man had joined him in front of the vet assistant.  The assistant, Kevin according to his name tag, looked between them.  “Okay, come with me.”    
  
They were shown into an exam room and then Kevin the surly assistant left.  There was only one chair and the blond guy took it, which was fine.  
  
“What’s your cat’s name?” Neil asked after several minutes of silence.  
  
He didn’t expect to get an answer, not with the look of disdain he received, but after a long pause an unexpectedly pleasant voice answered, “Sir Fat Cat McCatterson.”  
  
Neil laughed.  “Okay, I know why you think it’s your cat, then.”  He waited but got no response.  “Mine is King Fluffkins,” he offered.  It only seemed fair to share.  
  
“I don’t care.”  
  
“She was peeing blood in my sink.”  Nothing.  “I’ve only had her for a month.”  Still nothing.  Neil didn’t usually talk much to strangers; he didn’t know why he felt the urge to keep talking.  Maybe it was the secret kindness this man had shown the dog out in the waiting room.  Or maybe it was the way the hazel eyes stayed locked on his face, but not on his scars.  “My friend gave her to me, he said I shouldn’t be alone so much.  He named her, too.”  He smiled a little at the memory of Nicky appearing at his door with a screaming cat in a carrier and a mountain of supplies.  
  
“I’ve lived with people for years and not learned this much about them.”  
  
Neil’s retort was cut off by the entrance of a large snarling gray-and-white ball of fury being held by a heavy-glove-wearing Kevin.  The cat was deposited unceremoniously on the examining table and whirled, lightning quick, to swat out, claws snagging in Kevin’s gloves for a second before Kevin yanked free.  The cat hissed and Kevin drew himself up, looming over the table.  The two glared at each other, unblinking, until the door opened again.  
  
A woman with short dark curly hair and fresh bandages on her arms entered, a strained smile on her face.  “Mr. Minyard?” she asked, looking between the two of them.  The blond man stood up and she held her hand out towards him, carefully out of reach of the enormous cat who had crouched down on the table and was emitting ominous growls.  “I’m Dr. Wilds.”  The man didn’t shake her hand but nodded again.  “Well, we got the piece of bone out of his mouth, he should be much more comfortable now.”  Another nod.  “He was fine while I removed the bone, but attacked me afterwards.  I guess he took exception to me touching his tail.  Is he current on his rabies vaccine?”  
  
The man—Minyard—just said, “Yes,” with no apology or hint of guilt.  The assistant bristled at him but Dr. Wilds just went on.  
  
“And he needs to go on a diet, he’s at risk for diabetes right now.  I’ve written down a feeding program for him to help.”  
  
Minyard took the paper she was holding out and barely glanced at it.  The doctor continued to review some things that Minyard gave no indication he was listening to, and concluded with a small laugh, “and don’t feed him bones.”  
  
Minyard gave another slight nod.  The vet gave a small, involuntary shrug and turned towards the door.  “Wait,” Neil said, “do you have an update on my cat?”  
  
Confusion flickered across her face.  “You’re not with Mr. Minyard?”  Neil shook his head.  “Then why are you in here?”  
  
“Your assistant said the cat with the stupid name,” Neil shrugged.  “Mine qualified.”  
  
Dr. Wilds glared at Kevin who didn’t seem to care.  “What is your cat’s name?”  
  
“King Fluffkins.”    
  
Kevin rolled his eyes and muttered, “Idiots” under his breath, earning himself another glare.  
  
“Oh, yes, what a sweetheart.  I’m running a urine test on her right now, I should have the results soon.”    
  
The vet left with her assistant, and Sir Fat Cat McCatterson stopped growling like a switch had been shut off.   He gave Neil a suspicious glare but appeared to decide he wasn’t a threat, turning to face Minyard and rising up on his hind legs to bop his human on the chin with his head.  “You worthless piece of shit,” Minyard murmured, but his hand came up to stroke the cat’s cheeks gently, eliciting a frenzy of purring nearly as loud as the growling had been previously.  
  
“He attacked the wrong person,” Neil said with a grin.  “He should’ve gone after the assistant instead of the vet.”  
  
There was a glimmer in the man’s hazel eyes that might have been amusement.  He shifted to rubbing under the cat’s chin, and Sir Fat Cat closed his eyes in bliss.  
  
Neil wasn’t sure why Minyard was still there, since his cat had been returned.  “What do we do now?”  
  
“We wait.”  Neil’s confusion must have been evident, because Minyard gave a long-suffering sigh.  “I am not taking him out of here without his carrier, and presumably you want to learn why your cat is peeing in your sink.”  
  
“Right.”  Neil started looking at the various posters that were on the walls about assorted different diseases.  The one behind his head was a Body Condition Chart, with silhouettes of cats ranging from a skeleton with skin at 1 to one that looked like a bowling ball with ears at 9.  Neil glanced back at Sir Fat Cat.  “I think he’s about an eight.”  
  
Minyard glared at him.  “He used to be a nine.  I’ve had him on a diet since I got him.”  
  
Dr. Wilds entered again.  Her forehead furrowed as she looked at Minyard.  “Is there something you need?”  
  
“My carrier would be nice.”  
  
“True.”  She stuck her head through the door and said something to someone in the hall, then turned to Neil.  “Well, Mr. Josten, it looks like King Fluffkins has a urinary tract infection.  I’m going to dispense ten days of antibiotics, she’ll need to take one pill a day, and I want you to put her on an all canned diet if she’ll eat it.  A high moisture diet makes them less likely to have bladder problems.”  
  
“Oh.  Okay.”  
  
“And we need to see her back in two weeks to check another urine sample, we need to make sure she clears the infection.”  She talked for a moment more, until a thumping sound against the door made her pause.  Kevin entered with two carriers and Dr. Wilds excused herself.    
  
King’s carrier was shoved into Neil’s arms and he turned it so she faced him.  “I’m sorry, baby,” he cooed at her, sticking his fingers through the door so she could rub on them.  “We’re going to make you better.”    
  
He looked up and saw the other two men staring at him.  “What?”  
  
Kevin shook his head while Minyard plopped the carrier in front of his cat and opened the door.  Sir Fat Cat looked into the opening, then back at Minyard.  “You want to stay here with these assholes or go home and watch TV?”  Lashing his tail, Sir Fat Cat marched into the carrier and Minyard shut the door behind him.  
  
Neil thanked Kevin, who responded with, “Why did you name her King?  She’s a tortoiseshell, she’s obviously female.  She should be Queen Fluffkins.”  
  
“Why do you think the cat subscribes to human gender constructs?” Neil asked, setting the carrier down and crossing his arms.  
  
Kevin rolled his eyes.  “Whatever.”  
  
“It’s a valid question,” Minyard said, a razor’s edge to his voice.  “Why should they conform to your notions of gender?”  
  
“We don’t even know if King identifies as female,” Neil said.  “We may be insulting King by using the wrong pronoun and not even know it.”  
  
“Not to mention, ‘queen’ is the generic term for a female cat.  Perhaps they would resent the idea of being named the cat equivalent of ‘bitch’.”  There was a small twitch at the corner of Minyard’s mouth as he finished that Neil would have sworn was a smile.  
  
“Oh my god, forget I ever said anything,” Kevin said, gesturing the two of them out into the hall.  “Follow me, I’ll check you out.”  He tapped a few things into the computer and then frowned at the screen.  He looked up at them, then back at the screen and clicked the mouse.  “Uh…Okay.  Mr. Minyard.”  He read out his total and accepted the card he was handed.  After Minyard had signed, he picked up his carrier and turned to Neil with a sarcastic two-finger salute before disappearing through the door.  
  
Kevin turned to Neil and gave him his total, still looking baffled.  “What?” Neil asked as he handed him his card.    
  
“You guys have separate accounts.”  
  
“No shit,” Neil said; evidently it was his turn to be confused.    
  
Kevin took in his expression and shook his head.  “Never mind.”    
  
Neil signed and took his card back, snagged one of the business cards sitting next to the checkout and jotted something down on it, then gathered up his paperwork and his carrier and shoved his way outside.  The parking lot was full of cars but devoid of people, except for Minyard, who was standing next to Neil’s car smoking.  He stepped aside so Neil could put King in the passenger seat.  When Neil turned to go around to the driver’s side, he found himself blocked by Minyard’s back.  “Why are you still here?”  
  
“I’m not going to expose the cat to second hand smoke he can’t get away from,” Minyard said over his shoulder, as if it was obvious.  Neil was sort of trapped, and he leaned against his car and waited.  
  
“That was kind of fun,” he said after a minute.  
  
Minyard ground out his cigarette and turned to face him.  “You need help if that’s your definition of fun.”  
  
Neil shrugged.  “I don’t know, I kind of enjoyed ragging on that assistant.”  
  
“Like I said.”  
  
“Is that some sort of invitation?” Neil challenged.  
  
Minyard stepped closer.  “No.”  He waited just a breath too long then got into his fancy car and started it.  Neil grinned at him, returning his two-fingered salute as he backed out of the space.    
  
Neil’s phone dinged as he pulled into his parking spot.  _how tf did u get that card in my pocket_  
  
_I’ve got skills_  
  
_ur an idiot_  
  
_what’s your name_  
  
_andrew_  
  
_Neil_  
  
_thats what the card said_  
  
There were three dots indicated another text was coming.  Neil got out of his car and fished a mournful King out.  He had just reached the stairs when the next text came through.  _wanna get a drink_  
  
_I don’t really drink_  
  
_a coffee then_  
  
_Sure_  
  
A time and the address of a coffee shop followed; it was only a couple of blocks away.  Neil gave King her first pill with only a moderate amount of difficulty, then petted her until she was purring and kneading on his lap.  He smiled a little as he looked down at her, then around the apartment, sparse except for the cat tower, scratching posts, beds, and toys.  Maybe Nicky was right about the benefits of cat ownership after all.

**Author's Note:**

> You may not believe the bird thing but that literally happened...
> 
> Comments greatly appreciated! HMU on Tumblr @fuzzballsheltiepants


End file.
